


Our legs are open, our pants are down

by thegreenstuffthatgrowsontrees



Category: Hatchetfield Universe - Team StarKid
Genre: Cursed, I’m sorry for this, M/M, Smut, Workplace, i didn’t write this, im posting this for my friend berly, jk i love you berly/p, technically, this is berlys fault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:01:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28287411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreenstuffthatgrowsontrees/pseuds/thegreenstuffthatgrowsontrees
Summary: ummmmm, so frank likes wiley, big time and then, one day he comes in and some *spicy* stuff happens.this cursed idea came from the Starkid Potter discord server and is written by my friend berly, chapter titles by my friend phin
Relationships: Uncle Wiley/Frank Pricely
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

Frank was nervous - this wasn't good. He was sweating, hands cold and clammy, a flush rising up his cheeks. Perhaps he was getting sick - at least, that was what he told himself. These were all classic symptoms of a sick bug and hey, it was winter - he was bound to get sick. What he didn't tell anyone however was that these were very often symptoms of something else, something incurable, something so dastardly and rotten he couldn't bear to think about the implications - he was in love. Not with a customer - that would be bad. Not with an employee - fhat would be even worse. No - he was in love with the manufacturer, the supplier, the magnificent Uncle Wiley. The way his overly slicked hair glinted under the overly bright fluorescent lights of the store made Frank hot under the collar. The way his crooked jaw... his *beautiful* jaw moved when he so rarely gave that evil little chuckle, it made Frank's heart flutter with wistful joy. *One day*, he thought. *One day I am going to take that beautiful jaw in my hands and I am going to kiss those soft... those tender lips so hard, I'm going to run my tongue all over it, he's not going to know what hit him.* It was true. Uncle Wiley made him feel things, a tingly sensation down there, one he had never before experienced with anyone else. Well... no-one except that little fuzzy beast. Oh boy, boy, did he know how to have a good time. Frank could feel himself getting harder just thinking about that little green terror.


	2. A Bonerfide Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uncle wiley comes to the store, shit happens

Today was the day. The day Uncle Wiley would be coming to the store. Frank had been dreaming about this day for weeks, each time getting hotter and hotter, harder and harder. There was just one problem - how was he meant to hide this inevitable hard-on that was going to occur when the magnificent Wiley was around. *A problem for another time,* he thought. *Maybe he'll notice and realise how I feel...*. As the door to the store flew open and the cold November air blew through the shop, Frank was sweating. Wiley swaggered into the shop, his signature green apple clutched tightly in his masculine hand. *Oh what I wouldn't give to be clutched in those manly hands. So... loving... so... tender... so... supportive.* He could feel himself hardening just at the thought of it. Wiley stopped at the counter and smirked, this seemingly innocent action hitching Frank's breath in his throat, unable to say a word as the man of his dreams stood less than 3 feet in front of him. *Frank, I've got some more... supplies for you,* Wiley drawled. Frank, unable to make use of his meagre voice merely nodded, hands slipping below his waist to cover the incriminating evidence. *How about we take this to the back room?* Wiley said, eyebrow arched, more of a demand than a statement. Again, unable to say anything, Frank nodded and followed Wiley to the stock room, hands covering his load all the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, i’m sorry


	3. Steamy In The Stock Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title says it all

Entering the stock room, Frank tried to stand as far from Wiley as possible, otherwise he knew he wouldn't be able to resist the temptation to run his hands over the sweet, sweet prize, to run his tongue down the back of his neck, to make Wiley tingle the way Frank did when he was around. As Wiley took a bite from his signature green apple, Frank couldn't help but notice the way Wiley's muscles bulged against his tight jean jacket, begging, pleading, aching to be released. *One day,* Frank thought, *One day I'll free you. I'll free you and have you for my own.* He licked his lips in anticipation, almost drooling with admiration for this beautiful specimen. Slowly, Wiley made his way closer and closer to him, Frank getting hotter and hotter the closer he came - the undeniable fact was he was attracted to him but, was it possible? Could Wiley feel the same way about him? Suddenly, with a sharp flick of the wrist, Wiley discarded the piece of fruit, the apple landing with a wet squelch; Wiley was staring intensely at Frank. *Now, down to business, what do you say Fred?* Frank gulped, this name unfamiliar but still extremely arousing. *B- business?* he stammered. *Business,* Wiley drawled in response.


	4. Give Me Your Fucking Money, Give Me Your Fucking Ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gettin steamy

Wiley moved from his position in front of Frank, and walked slowly behind him, running his hand along the neck of Frank's shirt. Frank tensed as his eggplant shot out and a chill went down his spine, trying to suppress the moan that was so ready to escape his desperate lips. *Well, hello naughty list...* muttered Wiley, admiring Frank's rather pert ass. Suddenly Wiley's hand was in his back pocket and he was spinning Frank around to slam him against the wall. Frank's hands went up as if in surrender. *You want this, don't you?* growled Wiley. *You want this?* Frank nodded, unable to make a noise, save for the groan that was about to penetrate the otherwise still air. Wiley smirked in satisfaction and pressed his body up close to Frank's, his hand slipping past the barrier of Frank's pants and into his underwear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u think about it, you can eat anything, but some things, only once.


	5. Men In The Streets, Monsters In The Sheets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i can feel the steam through the screen

The shirts came off, discarded carelessly in favour of skin on skin contact. Frank licked his lips as Wiley traced shapes across his chest - only slightly did it remind him of his past exploits with a familiar green bastard. Wiley could clearly sense the tension. *Oh you like this huh? You like this?* Frank nodded hungrily, yearning for more. Wiley smirked, chuckling, *Well you'll like this next part even more then...* Soon the pants had gone the same way as the shirts, the only remaining clothing their underwear. Wiley ran his finger around the waistband of Frank's underpants, looking up at him through his eyelashes; as he did this, Frank's back arched. *More,* he cried desperately. *MORE-* He couldn't hold it any longer - gripping him by the shoulders, Frank pulled Wiley down on top of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> otters are just watery dogs


	6. He Will Wiggle, Wiggle, Wiggle His Way Into Your Pants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> remember kids, consent is sexy

Soon enough the two men were interlocked in a passionate embrace, Frank's tongue finding all the little nooks and crannies of Wiley's face. Wiley moaned with exasperated delight as Frank's tongue roamed, exploring farther and farther down his body, almost licking him clean. By now, Frank was edging perilously close to the shining gems, the prized reward. However, before he could proceed, Frank, knowing that consent is sexy, had to ensure that this was completely sexy to Wiley. He raised his head, peeking questioningly through his lashes, pleading with Wiley to allow this next move. Wiley nodded hastily, he now finding himself unable to speak. Seeing that this was sexy, Frank worked his way back down Wiley's torso and, reaching the underpants, gripped the waistband in his teeth and pulled ferociously, mimicking the animalistic tendencies of any other less developed mammal. *Here we go,* he thought in excitement, hardening in anticipation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope kermit and ms piggy are having a happy marriage


	7. A Violation Of Toy Zone Cumpany Policy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rlly getting steamy

The tension in the air was palpable as the pants were thrown carelessly to the floor. *Ohhh... Wiley...* Frank moaned as he felt Wiley stiffen beneath him. *WILEY...* Suddenly Wiley gripped Frank hard and rolled him over, slamming him against the table. *Now we're going to do this my way,* he growled, his voice sultry and smooth like caramel to Frank's ears. *But- but isn't this violating company policy?* Frank questioned as they grinded. *Oh really?* Wiley replied indifferently, moving up and down, up and down to a steady rhythm. *You know, you can violate me any day...* Frank moaned as Wiley went harder and harder, faster and faster, going so far in it didn't seem like he was ever coming back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wouldn’t like to be a muppet


	8. The Climax Of The Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “finally, the end!”, i hear you say to your phone

A climax was imminent, Frank could feel it. Wiley was going deeper and deeper with every shove and Frank was enjoying it more and more. There was no time for talk - they had to get this over with before anyone else came into the stock room searching for more of those beloved green furry bastards. Even as the penetration was becoming more and more severe, Frank couldn't help but let his mind drift to days past when he would spend his days frolicking with those horny fluffy bitches, the tickle of fur arousing him at every opportunity from then on... As the climax approached, the Wigglys on the shelves covered their mouths in horror, unwilling witnesses to this most despicable of crimes. Despite their horror however, they found themselves transfixed, a sick kind of fascination getting the better of them. Unable to look away, they watched as Frank arched his back, stiff all over - a clear sign of the climax. The ultimate prize. Frank couldn't hold it in - he had fo let it out, else he might explode: *Wiggly...* he groaned, eyes closed in pleasure. *Ohhh Wiggly...* Wiley stopped, stunned. *Wiggly? WIGGLY???* He made a move to get up, but his dick was still buried deep within Frank and he found himself slightly stuck. Frank writhed around seductively, apparently unaware of the current situation, until suddenly the door creaked open and there, in the doorway, stood Lex Foster. *WHAT THE FUUUU-*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we left lex with even more trauma than before

**Author's Note:**

> i’m sorry


End file.
